LIFT FART

People have pissed, dropped rubbish and spilt drinks of various kinds, I’ve found dogshit in there too but the worst that can happen using the lift happened to me yesterday.
Waiting: laughter and talking from the floor below as male and female riders got out.
The lift came up and I got in. Then I smelled it and knew the laughter I’d heard was because at least one of the departed had farted.
I tell you it was an unpleasant trip down but one I had to make there and then seeing as I had the bike and was running late and couldn’t wait for the smell to dissipate.
Rubbish, piss, shit, though none of them my choice of lift companion, can be stood around or over or covered. But a fart? A fart fills the volume of lift space, surrounds whoever's in there and it is by them that the fart is breathed in. And I think you all know where farts come from.
Bastards...disgusting...an outrage, farting in the lift...couldn't they have waited like I do... and what if someone’s waiting to get in when I get out? They’ll think it was me.
I practiced saying: ‘it wasn’t me,’ but I needn’t have bothered.