CONVERSIONS

‘The transvestite I went out with,’ she said, ‘he was on the Atkins diet, protein heavy.’
‘No carbohydrate?’
‘Not much but when he got aroused he smelled like cat shit.’
‘Hmm, lovely.’
‘It was something to do with his liver,’ she said.
‘You know what?’
‘Not really, but I know the liver converts fats to energy and if you’re not eating much carbohydrate and lots of protein it can affect how it works.’
‘Smelling like cat shit though...’
‘Yeh, it was the final straw,’ she said. ‘That, and because he fetishised the make-up, you know, the lipstick and everything, had them all laid out, and changed his clothes all the time, which was really tedious, meant we took hours getting out when ever we managed it at all, anyway, it was that and the smell, I had to end it.’