WEENER

Five of us in the lift including a man with bike who’d been waiting with us in the foyer but as it became clear the two young mothers with pushchairs and children who’d got in before us had pressed all the buttons meaning the lift was stopping each floor to the top he went up the stairs then when eventually the lift came back down and the door opened he was there taking up half the space.
‘You get it up on its end?’ I said.
The door was just closing when one of the older women came round the corner and me and the man lives above me reached to press the door open button to let her get in.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
We all got out to let man and bike out.
‘It’s hot in here,’ I said when only the two of us, ‘especially with five people.’
‘I was in here the other day with the black guy from your floor and he said he’d just got in and he saw the man lives in the corner by you rush out with his weener hanging out going to piss in the lift.’
‘Mmm, lovely,’ I said
‘I’d love to catch him,’ he said.