PAPERS

He held my head back, prised my mouth open, began pulling my teeth out one by one.
'You should see a dentist,' he said. 'Your breath is worse than I could have imagined.'
'Thank you,' looking up at him, his dark eyes magnified by the lenses of National Health glasses not unlike those I wore getting beaten up by skinheads in nappies. 'I was talking to my boss the other day and my teeth were rotting, I could feel them getting soft and the taste was awful.'
'What happened?'
'Well,' I said, not at all embarrassed , 'he started to retch then he vomited before I could finish what I was saying.'
'How rude,' he said.
'That's what I thought.'
When he'd finished re-arranging the furniture he showed me his penis.
'Why are you doing that?' I said.
'Because you're a cunt.'
'Doctor,' I said. 'You must discharge me immediately and put this man to bed.'
'Willingly,' he said and gave me my papers.