SCARING ME

‘You’re scaring me,’ I said as she described the life of her sister who’d told her she wanted to live a normal life.
‘...two point five kids, a husband with a well paid job, that’s what she’s got, stays at home all day being a housewife...’
...me remembering my childhood mother saying , ‘get a job, that’s the most important thing,’ and father, ‘I just want you to be happy,’
what the fuck was he talking about?
the two of them hardly speaking but doing their duty staying together for the sake of the children
blame us why don’t you?

THE CROSSING

BLUE

One exhibit had a small toy naked baby hanging in a see-through plastic bag hanging form a nail on a white-washed wall.
I was reminded of being at Stonehenge festival in the eighties just dropped a couple of blue microdots, the strongest acid I ever had, coming up like an express train, part of a group standing around occasionally looking at each other and smiling as the rush took hold when a man walked through the middle of us handing out slips of paper.
I took one, “READ THIS,’ it said.
‘Don’t read it,’ said the Goat.
...but I’d already started...
‘...the baby sat in the corner put the plastic bag over its head and slowly turned blue...’

MORE DRUGS

‘How’re you?’ she said when I sat down at her table.
‘I’ve been better,’ I said.
‘More drugs?’
‘Yes, thanks.’
I remembered last night’s dream as I washed down two trammies with water from the tap...
...I levitated just outside the block and walked above ground, as if treading water, across the estate all the while thinking how vast the spread of buildings was and wondering how I was managing to maintain the way I was moving...
...I came to a stack of heavily graffited corrugated containers and stopped. A man in a suit spoke silent words I read as they left his mouth...
...I turned back and followed a concrete path across parkland and through trees to a bungalow set in the side of a hill where I was advised to continue on my way by a woman held the hand of a young child...
...still above ground I arrived at familiar surroundings of tower blocks and hills...
‘...this is my home,’ I thought, the words forming themselves out of scraps I’d collected on my journey...
...she spoke disturbing my reverie and asked again if I wanted more drugs.

THEM

‘You want some serious painkillers?’ she said when I told her I’d the beginnings of a migraine when she’d asked how I was.
‘I never turn down the offer of serious painkillers,’ I said.
‘There’s two for now and have two for later,’ handing me the small blisters she’d cut from the larger pack.
Tramadol.
‘Don’t know what the conversation’ll be like both of us taking these,’ she said as we each downed a couple.
‘Have to wait and see,’ I said, thinking it wouldn’t be much different from the conversation we’d’ve had without them.

TEA OR COFFEE

‘Was that man carrying a fishing rod?’ he said about the man’d just passed us on his way out as we walked into the flats at the ground floor.
‘Yes,’ I said, ‘he’s one of the people fish off the balconies, you not seen them?’
‘What?’
‘People fishing off the balconies,’ I said.
‘What they do that for?’
‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘I’ve seen them fish but not seen them catch anything.’
He looked at me, seemed uncertain.
‘I’ve wanted to ask them,’ I said, ‘when I’ve seen them around like then but they look a bit strange and they move so fast I haven’t managed to.’
We didn’t speak again until we were in the flat and I asked if he wanted tea or coffee.

FLIES

LIVING LOWER DOWN

‘You go all the way up,’ she said as she pressed the floor button I’d said was mine when she asked as I got in the lift just after her.
‘That’s where I live,’ I said.
‘What’s it like up there?’ she said. ‘Is it alright?’
‘It’s a good view and when I close the door behind me when I get home I feel quite safe because it’s so high up.’
‘I’m not sure I’d like to be that high.’
‘I wasn’t at first but I like it now and I'd find it difficult living lower down.’

THE RIGHT NUMBER

I went to collect the photos I’d had printed to A3 at Sprinters on Stokes Croft.
‘Been skulking around Stokes Croft have you?’ she said as she handed me the plastic self-seal bag had the thirteen pictures in.
‘Well, yes,’ I said.
‘There’s just one that didn’t come out too well,’ she said. ‘This one.’
‘Oh, shame...but I know why that is.’
‘You showing them somewhere?’
‘Easton Art Trail,’ I said being sure to emphasise the capital letters. ‘Then I thought I might see if any of the local cafes were interested.’
‘We had someone brought some stuff in about closing Heathrow airport down or something like that. I’m not really sure. but they were taking them to Glastonbury this weekend, for a display,’ she said, ‘something environmental.’
‘Maybe about stopping terminal five being built,’ I said, ‘if that’s the right number.’

ON THE TELLY

It might be the last time, him being so ill n’that, you know?
As I took his picture and he held his gaze for the camera. Moving is difficult and deteriorating. He may have to leave.
The thought of him going...
...he walked three miles to and from school Monday to Friday then worked until it got dark - all Saturday, Sunday off - on his father’s market garden...
...he tried out for Bristol Boys, playing alongside a future England forward...
...he drank cider with Adge Cutler and wonders occasionally how he’s getting on...
...he has the Evening Post delivered, reads it cover to cover after which he goes to bed unless there’s football on the telly

JOINING A CROWD

A crowd of people was running down Stokes Croft.
As they passed I said to one of them, ‘what’s going on?’
‘The police just arrested a man with a gun but he got away and now he’s on the run,’ he said.
‘Which way did he go?’ I said and he said, ‘does it look like we're giving chase?’
I supposed it didn't and joined the crowd.

SIGNS

AVOIDANCE

‘You can get your bike in now the lift’s bigger,’ she said. ‘You don’t have to get it up on end.’
‘That’s true,’ I said.
She looked at me through thick lensed heavy framed glasses. When I said, ‘hello,’ to her when she walked in to get the lift was the first time I’d said anything to her even though I’ve seen and passed her in the flats through the years I’ve been living here.
‘It’s faster too,’ I said.
She looked at me and said, ‘is it?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I’ve timed it, so I know.’
When she got out she said, ‘bye then.’
‘Bye,’ I said wondering why I’d told her I’d timed the lifts and thought it appropriate to share the results.
If someone had said to me what I’d said to her then the next time I was approaching the flats and saw them at or going through the entrance I’d probably avoid sharing the lift with them by walking up the hill and go in that way or I'd wait long enough for the lift to come down from the top floor, them to get in and be on the way up before going in the entrance myself.

FRUSTRATED

'My life is falling apart,' he said as he sat down near me on one of the benches faces the fountains in the centre of town.
I read the paper I'd bought just before the coffee i was drinking. I didn't want to get into a conversation with him considering the material.
'I could lose everything,' he said, 'because I'm frightened to take a risk...with anything...it's my mindset, it isn't right, is what it is...'
...the sound of buses, traffic, pigeons, people talking, walking by, maybe heard what he was saying...
...two men on the next bench along drinking, one from a bottle the other from a can...
'...I'm so frustrated,' he said.

DID YOU KNOW?

Did you know...
Jesus loves you...
God has forgiven you...
you are a miracle...
you were fearfully and wonderfully made...

Did you know...
the purpose of your life on earth...
that there is life after death...
though you were born in Sin, you can be born again and become a child and a friend of God forever!

Sin lives inside of you planning daily to murder you by any means, anywhere and at all costs.
Sin is not your friend. Sin is your enemy.
It is a great error to underrate sin.
The Bible says, “Fools mock at sin.”

What would you choose?
. To be born again, living by the word of God, heading for heaven, or
. To carry on as you are with your sin heading for hell and the everlasting fire?

The decision is yours...To be born again today...
. Repent and follow God’s will
. Believe that Jesus is the Son of God
. Be baptised by total immersion in water just like when you were in water in your mother’s womb before you were born as a child. THIS IS THE POINT AT WHICH YOU ARE BORN AGAIN!
. After this you will be baptised with the Holy Spirit...you will have you power of witness...you will never be the same again!
. This is not a religion. God did not offer anyone any kind of religion. What God offers is forgiveness of sins, which He commands you to claim by being born again today.

We would like to help you change your life. Please contact us:
www.thechurchthebodyofchrist.com

DENISE VARIGOS

Denise Varigos is a sales consultant working for Walkers Real Estate based at the Ipswich office which is on the corner of Brisbane and Chernside Roads.
The business is independently owned and operated by Limestone Real Estate Pty. Ltd.
Denise was in Bristol recently or the business card of hers I found near Dove Street, got here some other way.
On the front of this card there is the contact information above as well landline and mobile numbers and a head and shoulders photograph of Denise. She’s wearing bright red lipstick and could pass for a woman.
On the back of the card there is a selection of phone numbers for local (to Ipswich) services including: the police (3813 8777); a couple of hospitals; Ipswich Taxi; for the loss of utilities; and the Poisons Information Centre (131 126). I don’t know the code.
For any of the three emergency services dial 000. On the top edge above this is written in black felt tip pen, “whoever loves me more,” and down the following right hand side the address of a flat in Upper Cheltenham Place.
I wonder if she’s buying or selling or something else. I could give her a call and find out and hear what she sounds like.

GULL

TRANSACTION

‘Do you only print three of each issue?’ he said when I gave him this month’s.
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘They take so long to print, the photographs, you know?’
He gave me the money for last month.
‘I can imagine,’ and I wondered if he said that because he really could imagine or if he was doing me a favour helping me stay on solid ground.
‘Do you only leave them here?’
‘Yes,’ I said, thinking I’d thought about it.
‘They’re a collector’s item then?’ he said, my anxiety increasing.
‘They’re very rare,’ I said holding the door handle.
He smiled, looked down at the folder on the desk in front of him, and recorded our transaction.