NO HOT TAP

‘Hello,’ I said. ‘I’m a council tenant and I’ve got a plumbing emergency.’
‘What’s happening?’ said the woman on the phone.
‘Water’s pouring from the bottom of the boiler.’
She asked me where I lived then said, ‘I’ll send a plumber out.’
About half hour later as I listened again to ‘Banter’ on onliine radio there was a knock at the door and when I opened it there were three men each wearing a dark blue council fleece.
‘Hello,’ said the one in front.
‘Come in,’ I said and as they followed me to the cupoard housed the boiler I said. ‘It’s stopped now but I’ve emptied four of those,’ pointing at the washing up bowl resting on the bottom shelf above the floor covered in wet newspapers.
The lead man pulled himself up on the transom to take a look.
‘Your valves gone,’ he said stepping down.
‘What you going to do?’
‘I’ll report it eight tomorrow morning and get the valve and that,’ tapping the thermostat, ‘replaced while we’re at it, seeing as the water’s gone all through it.’
‘Anything I need to do now?’
‘Don’t use the hot tap,’ he said. ‘If you do the level’ll go down and the water’ll run out until it fills again.’
Out of the three of them only the one man spoke the whole visit the other two watching and laughing not looking at me all the while to showing them out.
‘Thanks,’ I said.
‘Tomorrow,’ he said. ‘Eight o’clock I’ll report it. ’Til then, no hot tap.’