ON A TRAIN

‘You use this much?’ she said to me sat across the aisle of the train on it’s way to Severn Beach.
‘Not really,’ I said. ‘You?’
‘As much as I can. Especially now with all that in Broadmead...’
‘Yes, it’s tricky, the traffic down there.’
‘I know,’ she said, ‘they change it all the time.’
‘Yeh, you don’t know which way to go.’
‘Not until you get there.’
‘That’s true,’ I said.
‘It’s so bad it makes me think about not doing it anymore.’
‘I like it too much to give it up though.’
‘Yes, me too.’
The train stopped. I stood up, said, ‘goodbye,’ and got off the train with my bike.

THE PROGRAMME

I had to get out of the flat this afternoon, get out and stay out.
I’d been in most of the day, up late, I’m so tired recently, and was rattling around having done bits of most of what I do not settling to anything.
I went down town for a coffee and a read neither of which I did. I walked through Braodmead, posted a couple of letters on the top floor of the galleries, sat on one bench then another...
...first, next to a man had four or five carrier bags filled with newspapers he was doing a puzzle was in the Metro...
...second, was the one nearest and facing Union Street, where I waited fifteen minutes for the programme to begin...

THIS IS WHAT MY FLAT SOUNDS LIKE FOR AN HOUR EACH DAY

LAMBRINI

Lambrini is the choice of the more discerning Stokes Croft street drinker or an alcoholic stop on the way to white cider.
He counted out a pile of change, begged probably, onto the stack of Evening Post’s sit between the till and the lottery terminal on the counter separates punter from retailer.
He had the smell of industrial grade alcohol that through concentrated use soaks into and is sweated out of the system of the host.
I didn’t but any Lambrini from Ashley News being too embarrassed because I’d bought some at the weekend. Instead I walked up Stokes to the twenty-four hour shop passing on the way the junction of City Road where a woman sits cross legged on the pavement.
Clothes hang from the fence behind her below the billboard says, ‘Opportunity is here,’ and there’s stuff laid out in front and to the side of her. A notice each end of the fence says, ‘Sale,’ red letters on yellow background.
She was rolling a cigarette when I wanted to say hello but I was too scared in case she wanted to talk longer than I could bear.

CONVERSATIONS FROM THE GANTRY

‘Ere, you want dinner now or do one more?’
‘Do one more, then there’s one less to do.’
Sound of gantry engine.
‘Ere, one of these is tight, you want to let the other down even it up a bit?’
‘Okay.’
Sound of gantry engine.
‘Ere, look at him down there.’
‘Oh yeh.’
‘Oi, you frightened or what? Ha, ha ha.’
‘I think ‘e must be, look at him, for fucks sake.’
‘I am, I am, fuckin’ ‘ell.’
Sound of a radio.
Singing along, ‘...da, da, da this is my life...’

FLAPPING IN THE WIND

PREMONITION

I had a premonition about my death and told a friend who said, ‘you know what day it’s supposed to happen?’
‘No.’
‘That’s not much use then, is it?’
But I did know the day.
As I sat in his front room listening to him talking I had the persistent sense I would die on my ride home later that evening.
I’m home now and I’m not dead...well not in the way I imagined I might’ve been.

FOR ME, A TREAT

I took some posters and flyers into the pub and said, ‘here’s the posters and flyers I said I’d bring.’
‘Thanks,’ he said, ‘got time for a quick half?’
‘Time for a quick short,’ I said and he looked at me in a way that said, ‘cheeky.’
He got a couple of brandy glasses and put a single from the optics into each one.
‘Cheers,’ I said holding my glass towards his.
He touched his glass against mine, ‘cheers.’
‘Mmm,’ I said, ‘smooth.’
‘It’s okay,’ he said, ‘but it’s not the best. If I really want a treat I have to pay £70 a bottle.’

FOR YOUR DELECTATION
...or whatever it is you do when you watch these...if you do, that is...

HE REMEMBERS

We got in the lift. Me, her, and her two children.
The next floor a couple of men got in.
One had wet trousers and, passing his fingers lightly over the floor buttons, said, 'where's ground?'
'At the bottom,' I said.
The other man, who was holdng a cigarette, looked at me and said, 'oh yes, I remember.'

A CABLE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW
The outside of the flats is being painted and the workers use a rising platform hung from the top of the blocks to reach the high places which are many. The cable you can see carries the electrics required for the platform to go up and down at the press of a button.
If you look carefully you can see birds passing through the frame.

THE MAN WAS A DOG

Driving through town and slowed down when I saw up ahead my side of the road blocked by an accident involving two cars, one’d gone into the other.
I drove round the right side of the road leaving enough room for traffic coming the opposite direction to get by.
As I passed the accident I saw there was a body in the road and I thought, ‘it’s a dead body, I’ve not seen one before.’
In the waiting area after parking the car I walked up to where my daughter sat and said, ‘when did you dye your hair?’
She pulled at the bright pink and electric blue strands and said not looking at me but straight ahead, ‘what’s it to you?’
‘I just wondered, is all.’
I sat down next to her and said, ‘did you see the accident outside?’
‘No.’
‘Come and have a look.’
There was an ambulance and paramedics but no one seemed to be attending the body still motionless in the road. But as we stood on the pavement watching the scene I noticed the head move from side to side then up and down.
‘It’s not dead,’ I said.
The body was a man who now got up on to his feet then fell on to all fours was a dog who did somersaults in front of us before running off up the road and round the corner.

BAG MAN

‘I’ll get the door,’ I said to one of the older women lives in the flats and who had in her hands her own personal shopping bag and two Tesco’s carriers and had struggled in front me through the entrance.
‘Oh, thanks,’ she said after turning her head and looking at me.
At the bottom of the flights I said, ‘shall I take one of those?’
‘Oh yes,’ she said and handed me the personal, ‘that’s got my milk in it.’
‘Blimey,’ when I felt the weight.
Up a couple of flights and she was breathing heavily, moving slowly.
‘What floor you on?’ she asked.
Steps.
‘You going to four then take the lift?’ I said.
More steps.
‘It’s getting so hard to go out,’ she said, ‘the lift being down.’
‘I know. You go down town, come back up the hill, then you’ve got four floors, it’s hard work.’
‘It’s all up hill, isn’t it?’ she said, her face showing the strain and she was slowing down.
She held the doors for me on four, then along the corridor, through door, in lift, up.
When she got out I gave her her bag.
‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘thank you very much.’

TEMPORARY AUTONOMOUS ART

We went to a temporary autonomous art event at the Vicarage.
When we left I said, 'nice one,' to the woman on the door and she said, 'did you enjoy yourself?'
'Yes,' I said.
'You been here all day?'
'No, about twenty minutes.'
As we walked up the road she said, 'I think we were the oldest people there.'

AN EXPERIMENT

MAKING AN ENTRANCE

She stayed last night, got up early she did in the morning to go to college, the first day of the new term.
Couple of hours later she texted: Guess what? we dnt start till nxt wk! AND Its going to be thursdays! What up 2?
She didn’t have her glasses with her so I read out loud the meals listed on the blackboard hanging outside the the Morrocan cafe opposite the deli and juice bar in the Covered Market where we met up.
‘Cous cous and roasted fresh veg,’ I said, ‘cous cous feta salad.’
‘Oo, I’ll have the feta,’ she said, and I had the veg.
The man who’d been sat texting, it looked like, on the stone steps that lead into the market building, brought our food over to where we sat and put it on the table in front of us.
When we’d finished eating we went looking for things to buy.
I bought a book about thinking and she bought stuff for making things.

BUZZARD

I looked at my phone next to me on my left when I heard the text arriving.
Then I looked out the window saw a buzzard gliding by right outside, a group of pigeons below and outflying seagulls.
I watched the buzzard until it went out of view...for about five seconds, it was.

THE COPS ARE ON THEIR WAY

TUBE

The first of two men talking about a third said, ‘I’ll wait until he leaves then ask his boss a few questions about him.’
‘You don’t know him as well as you say you do, do you?’ said the second.
‘That’s why I need to ask people about him, find out a bit more.’
It was hot and we stood on a stationary train.
A voice through a speaker in the carraige said, ‘...er, sorry about the delay there’s a body on the track...er, we’ll get going soon as we can.’

OUT OF ORDER

The voice on the end of the phone said, ‘Welcome to the Bristol City Council. Please be aware the calls may be recorded. Please hold the line to be connected to the emergency services.’
I rang a few times then, ‘emergency repairs,’ she said.
‘I live in the blocks? and the lift’s still out of action? it’s getting on for twenty-four hours? what’re you doing about it?’
‘Yeh, I know. We’ve been phoning them loads and they say it needs a part they can’t get til Monday morning.’
‘It’s not good enough? I’m relatively fit and healthy but some people live here can’t get out.’
‘I know, we’ve had lots of calls, people saying the same thing.’
‘Well. yeh, it’s out of order.’
‘I know,’ she said.

PAYBACK

Often after work on a Saturday I go down town for a coffee, soak up the atmosphere and maybe get some inspiration.
But not today. This last week I’ve had a few bottles of wine after not drinking for the last six months and it’s worn me out.
She was due to come over last night but after getting well into a bottle I unplugged the landline and before turning off the mobile, texted her, “I’m out of orbit, don’t try to contact me, I’ll be back tomorrow.”
This morning I phoned to apologise.
She said, ‘if you’re going to do that again, tell me, so I can plan to do something else because I really don’t want to be around you if you’re doing that.’

BAGS

I went looking at bags in Oswald Bailey. I’d been in there the day before and met a woman was doing the same as me.
‘You got to be tall to do that,’ she said from behind me reaching up and taking a bag from the hook at the top of the wall.
‘There one you want to have a look at?’ I said, ‘I can get it down for you.’
One of the shop assistants came over carrying a long wooden pole and said to her, ‘there one you want to look at?’
‘That one,’ she said pointing and he used the stick to unhook the bag and lift it down to her.
‘Difficult choice, isn’t it?’ I said.
‘The love of mine’s taken the one I was using.’
‘I want one for both shoulders, this one I’ve got only uses one.’
She took a small bag was hers the one she was using lay it on the floor next to the bag came off the wall and said, ‘how do these compare?’
‘I can’t decide,’ I said, ‘you know which one you want?’
‘No, isn’t easy is it?’

PASSENGER

‘Excuse me,’ said the woman to the guard. ‘There’s a man’s hurt himself, can’t get out of his seat, needs some help.’
The guard went to have a look, came back to the cab and spoke into a handset, ‘passenger in need of medical attention, says he’s dislocated his hip, an artificial hip he says, can’t get out the seat...a table seat...be good...okay.’
Two men wearing overalls in railway colours arrived removed the table carried it out.
Two paramedics, with a getting out of a situation chair, and three firemen, not wearing helmets, came from the platform into open carriage through the open door, left in reverse order one paramedic holding the oxygen breathing passenger’s right trouser keeping the leg straight the other pushing the chair.
The passenger, whose hip was dislocated, kept his eyes closed being carried away from delaying the train twenty minutes.
‘Pull yourself together,’ I said.

NORTHERN IRELAND 3 SPAIN 2

He said, ‘you going on Monday? It's his birthday.’
I said, ‘no, but we're not really friends.’
‘Do you know what’s going on?’
Later, as we sat outside at the front of the house on the chairs at the table, were usually in her back garden, another one said, ‘are you going on Monday?’
I said, ‘no, but he mentioned it earlier’
'She phoned me and said to invite people.’
'Oh.'
Later, when she knew I’d be out, she left a message on my phone, 'can you come tonight? He'd like you to be there.'
The day after when she called, I said, 'I couldn't make it.'

NINE PENCE

Outside Sprinters unlocking my bike when a man I’d heard ask someone up the road something, I imagined for money, and saw out of the corner of my eye, approached me.
‘Excuse me,’ he said.
‘Yes?’
‘Have you got nine pence you can give me? The idiot in there’s put his prices up...well he’s not an idiot, they’re his prices but he’s put them up and I haven’t got enough.’
‘Nine pence, you say?’ I said as I put my hand in my pocket took out my change, sifted through it, picked up three coins and gave them to him.
‘Ar, thanks mate, thanks,’ he said and went into Ashley News.

SPILLED BEANS

She was in my dream.
‘Why did you leave me?’ I said.
She sat a right angle to the left of me and stared at the floral patterned lino covered the floor.
When I woke this morning I wondered if she was there because she was dreaming of me or because I’d spilled the beans last night.

MY NEW VIDEO

TWO AND TWO

‘Said it’d be fifteen hundred for the work and she said, “yeh, do it,” so I said, “I need a thousand up front,” and she said she didn’t have that kind of money then she phoned me later said, “I’ve got the money, do the work,” and I told it’d been vandalised she said, “you mean torched?” know you what I mean? how did she know that? so I said, “look I don’t want to get involved in anything,” said she could come up with whatever story she wanted but if the police or insurance company came around asking I’d say what’d happened...
‘...and they’d put two and two together, know what I mean?’

CO-PILOTS

‘Much better than the old ones, these lifts, aren’t they?’ said the man I was sharing the lift up with and who, it turns out, lives the floor below me.
‘Luxury,’ I said.
‘So much more space.’
‘Much more,’ I said, ‘and faster too, though not a great deal.’
‘The voices though...’
‘Yeh, they’re already starting to irritate.’
Yesterday the first thing I noticed joining a man lives on my floor in the lift up was the smell but I wasn’t sure if it was his body odour or his breath.
I stared at the numbers changing as we went up and didn’t start a conversation in case the smell was his breath and talking’d mean more of it in the confined space.
It wasn’t until we got out on our floor and he’d held the first door to the corridor open and I’d said, ‘thanks,’ that he said, ‘any gigs soon?’
‘No,’ I said, thinking, ‘how does he know I play gigs? Maybe it was him who burgled me and he knows because he nicked the guitar and PA.’
I have no way of proving anything against him and am at a loss what to do other than nothing.

NO NETS TO TWITCH

‘You’re just a sadistic bitch gets off on men fighting over you,’ he shouted from the corner of Jamaica and Spring.
I looked to see who his words were at and saw a woman top of the alley runs between Spring and Dove Street turning round face him before the person with her put their arm round her shoulder and gently, it seemed from here, guide her further into the estate.
The man’d shouted was white and wore a light coloured shellsuit and a white peaked cap. He drifted left on to Jamaica with four or five others one of whom was pushing a pushbike.
The woman’d was black, had long wavy black hair parted one side and wore a short sleeved light pink top, blue jeans and white trainers.

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

Sat in Broadmead on one of the black metal slatted benches just within the circle of concrete flower boxes sits around the hub of the precenct I was eating a cheese and onion pasty with a tub of houmous.
A man with a groan sat down the other end of the bench to me and said, ‘can I ask you a question?’
‘No,’ I said, not stopping eating, not looking at him, I heard him get up with a groan and walk off.
Thirty, forty minutes later walking up the western spur a man as he passed me from the opposite direction said, ‘excuse me girls, can I ask you a question?’