MUSHY PEAS

She said, ‘you want salad or peas with that?’
‘Peas thanks,’ I said.
‘Garden or mushy?’
‘Oh, mushy, defiinitely.’
‘I don’t blame you and these are particularly good these ones,’ she said.
‘Oh yeh?’
‘Yes, the best I’ve had for a long time.’
‘Are they?'
'Yes, I’m a big fan of mushy peas.’
'Me too,' I said. ‘I can't wait.’
She wrote down my order on a small pad was next to the till in front of her. I went and sat down at the table in the corner.

WHAT YOU NEED

Corner of Montague and Deighton a car pulled up and the woman in the driving seat leaned out the window said, ‘thanks for that,’ looking right at me I thought but turned out she was looking at two men’d walked up the hill passed between me and the building the door of which they were now standing at waiting to be buzzed in.
‘It’s alright darlin’,’ said one turned to face her.
‘I was really scared there for a moment,’ she said, ‘I thought he was going to kill me.’
‘You know what you need,’ said the man, ‘is a sit down and a cup of tea.’

THAT’S THE COUNCIL FOR YOU

In the foyer front of the block the people modernising the lift have erected a false wall made out of sheets of ply it looks like, got a door for the workers to get through and has a lock to keep us tenants out.
This morning I said to the man was looking at the four colour scheme options for the block’s facade the Council have posted on the false wall and from which they want us residents to choose, ‘you made a choice yet?’
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘it’s number three for me.’
I held the doors open for him to walk through and said as he passed me, ‘yeh, it’s either two or three for me but it was only a couple of years ago they did it last, wasn’t it?’
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘four or five I think it was.’
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘well, it doesn’t seem to need it yet but there you go.’
‘That’s the Council for you,’ he said.
‘Bye.’
‘Bye.’

A KNOCK AT THE DOOR

There was a knock at the door. I stopped what I was doing and saying, stood still and listened.
‘Hello? Anyone there?’ said a male voice from the other side. ‘Hello?’ again and this time it said my name.
I looked through the spyhole saw a blurred figure I didn’t recognise from other blurred figures I’ve seen in the past through the spyhole.
I thought very briefly then because he’d mentioned my name reached for my keys, unlocked and then opened the door.
‘Hello,’ I said to a man I’ve seen around the flats and who I’d once spoken to about fitting a new exhaust on a car
‘Oh, hello,’ he said. ‘They said in the laundry to come and ask you if it was alright to do my laundry now.’
He wore a red jacket and had gaps between his pale yellow teeth.
‘I’m not using my time today so yes, you can have it.’
‘Thanks,’ he said, ‘I appreciate it.’
‘You’re welcome,’ I said and closed the door then thought, ‘I should’ve asked his name.’

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BITCH A MINUTE

As we came through the top outer entrance door a young white man, on each forearm a tattoo looked like one was a big cat leapiing, followed us.
I stopped and turned my head said, ‘you live here?’
‘Er, no,’ he said, ‘I’ve come to see a friend.’
‘You try the buzzer?’ I said, nodding toward where the entry phone was.
‘I have but he’s not answering...’
‘How do you know he’s in?’
‘I know he is, he lives on the eighth floor.’
‘Okay, okay,’ I said and he held the door for me.
When the lift door closed after he’d got out on the eighth she said, ‘I think he was quite shaken, what you said shook him up, it did.’
‘You think I ruined his day?’
‘No, he’ll bitch a minute with his friend then forget about it.’

I SHOULD THINK

Walking through the subway I saw at the left corner at the bottom of the steps that lead up to outside Debenhams a young man sat leaning against the wall begging being talked to by three other young men one on a bike two standing and I don’t know what they were saying it was fast and flat though excited.
Up the slope on the right halfway I stopped to look at a pattern of holes in the surface of the ground and turned left when I heard, ‘you better put your fucking phone on so I can phone you, you fucking twat,’ and saw the young man’d been talking at the corner on the bike.
(She said later it sounded affectionate.)
I turned right as he rode up the slope behind me and from just above where I stood pulled a wheely through one-eighty degrees the front tyre passing close to my face and said, when I looked at him my eyebrows raised, ‘sorry.’
‘Yeh, I should think,’ I said.

MY WIFE

My wife works as a Let’s Hope we don’t have to deal with across the 25-nation bloc.
Farndon thrown into the tower in a lower gear over two years drove modern aftermath that mirrors September 11.
All sides have been quick to point to the already struggling last week. Other double-deckers, equipped with hydraulics, believe the clampdown finger of blame at one another amid wheelchairs.
On hand luggage remains with business wrangles over who should foot the bill. Cope With The Worst are tipped to follow.
All those two years covering travel - which has helped boost profits and slump - with record temperature routes she had to suffer.
‘More than a million summers at home plus growing,’ she said.

SHARING

They went shopping together and when they came back she said, ‘we’ve been talking.’
‘Oh,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘and we’ve decided we’re going to share you.’
‘Oh,’ I said.
‘Yes,’ she said, ‘we’ll work out the details and let you know.’
‘Oh,’ I said, ‘thanks.’

THE OLD FIELD

I stood next to her bed apologising for not taking her feelings seriously when she told me how she felt about the old field.
Earlier a camper van’d come through the gate followed by four men on foot and a six door black vintage automobile that could have been a hearse.
I thought, ‘who are these men, are they gay?’ and, ‘what are they doing here?’
People around me were using words I didn’t know.
‘Who took the dome?’ I asked.
‘It was the crane,’ he said and pointed at the yellow crane lifting the dome off the top of the hill.
‘We shouldn’t give him all the money if the dome isn’t here,’ I said looking at the light green circle where the dome had been.
I walked through the corridors to the room in the corner and stood next to her bed apologising as she lay staring out the window as I spoke then rolled over on to her right side and facing away from me.
I left the room and went home.

SITUATION

Locked my bike to a bike stand turned round saw him walking toward me.
‘Hello young ‘un,’ he said.
‘JP,’ I said.
We walked side by side along the spur to Braodmead centre.
‘Nice shirt,’ I said, ‘good colour.’
He looked at me, ‘how’s it going?’
‘Shopping for the holiday.’
‘Your daughter going? She must be, what? Sixteen?’
‘Eighteen,’ I said, ‘reminds she’s a child or an adult depending on the situation.’
‘Mine had a difficult time a few years back,’ he said. ‘Her boyfriend was into drugs and she found him dead...’
‘She found him?’
‘Yeh, in their flat they shared. Then not long after his best friend hanged himself.’
‘She find him?’
‘No, but she’s doing alright now, going out with the son of Julie Driscoll, you know her?’
‘No...name sounds familiar though.’
‘Sure you know her, a singer from the Sixties.’
‘The Sixties?’ I said, ‘bit before my time you cheeky sod.’

DOWN

On my way down the stairs at the front of the block being as the lift’s not working to meet daughter off the bus I passed Number 4 coming up.
‘After you young man,’ he said as he moved aside on the landing below to let me through.
‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘Looks like hard work?’
‘It is,’ he said. ‘I tried to get in at three but you need a special key now so I couldn’t get in.’
‘The fob not work?’
‘No, you need a special key. I’ll have to go and get one.’
‘Oh.’
‘Anyway, bye now.’

THINKING OF YOU

‘The stairs,’ she said after I’d said, ‘stairs or hill?’
On the way up to the fourth floor where we’d cross to the back of the flats take the lift from there we passed a man and boy on their way down.
The man said, ‘murder, isn’t it?’
‘Yes indeed,’ I said, ‘and it’s going to be a while.’
‘We’ve got the baby and pushchair.’
‘Yeh, I know, I was thinking of you with the baby.’
‘Yeh?’
‘Yeh.’

GET A SIGNAL

An Otis engineer got into the lift.
‘You come out when it stopped working?’ I said.
‘Yeh.’
‘You know why it stopped?’
‘No. When I got here it was back on so I don’t but it might have been someone moving I saw people carrying boxes out the building when I arrived so they mght have propped the door open, you know?.’
‘Yeh, I do, yeh...You get a signal when it stops?’
‘Yeh, and if someone’s stuck they can use the alarm button and talk to them in the office.’

WHEN THE OTHERS RISE

He said, ‘nice, isn’t it?
‘A lot bigger than the old one, don’t you think?
‘You can get a bike in easily don’t have to put up on end is there?
‘Clean as well,’ he stroked the metal interior. ‘All the cleaner’s got to do is wipe the sides with a cloth regularly, that’s all.
‘Still don’t know how long it’ll be clean, do you?’
‘No,’ I said.
‘The test’ll be when they close down the other one, won’t it?’

WEENER

Five of us in the lift including a man with bike who’d been waiting with us in the foyer but as it became clear the two young mothers with pushchairs and children who’d got in before us had pressed all the buttons meaning the lift was stopping each floor to the top he went up the stairs then when eventually the lift came back down and the door opened he was there taking up half the space.
‘You get it up on its end?’ I said.
The door was just closing when one of the older women came round the corner and me and the man lives above me reached to press the door open button to let her get in.
‘Thank you,’ she said.
We all got out to let man and bike out.
‘It’s hot in here,’ I said when only the two of us, ‘especially with five people.’
‘I was in here the other day with the black guy from your floor and he said he’d just got in and he saw the man lives in the corner by you rush out with his weener hanging out going to piss in the lift.’
‘Mmm, lovely,’ I said
‘I’d love to catch him,’ he said.

SHE TELLS HIM HOW IT IS

‘I don’t have many friends,’ he said, ‘and those I do have don’t like to spend too much time with me.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ she said, ‘you’re not a very nice person.’

HE SAID HE DIDN’T

At the junction of City Road and Stokes Croft I heard a woman shouting, ‘you...come here...you were with her...you, where were you last night? you were with her...’
Who's she shouting at...ah, maybe it’s the two men walking towards her just crossed the road, one hasn’t got a shirt on, lean muscular body, the other I don’t recall what he’s wearing or not wearing.
The woman reached the men outside The Junction then pointed at Shirtless her finger the end of an outstretched arm, ‘you were with her last night, don’t come near me, you were with her...’
‘She’s the mother of my daughter...’
‘You slept with her, keep away from me...’
‘The fuck I did, the fuck I shagged her...’
She got to the men and slapped Shirtless.
‘Hey the fuck, fuck you, I didn’t shag her, fuck you if I did...’
The woman moved back, ‘keep away from me, you slept with her...’
‘The fuck I did, I didn’t...’
‘Don’t touch me,’ she shouted her mouth wide open in a face on a head the end of an outstretched neck, ‘don’t you fucking touch me...’

FIRST AND SECOND

The voices are behind as I sit on a bench in Broadmead between Foot Locker and M and S.
‘E’s clever isn’t ‘e?’ said the first man.
‘Cleverer than what you are,’ said the second man.
‘What you say?’
‘“More clever’n you,” I said.’
‘Yeh, you’re right,’ said First, ‘...no really, I like animals and most of them are clever’n us, don’t you think?’.
‘Yeh, I suppose...’
‘Let’s face it mate, most humans on this earth are like a virus.’
‘Oh,’ said Second.
‘Yeh, I’m only twenty-seven but I know something about something,’ said First.
‘Oh,’ said Second.

MENACE

‘Hey, menace,’ he said, ‘you got thirty pence?’
‘Yeh, hang on,’ I said.
‘I’ll do some magic for you in my dreams.’
‘Sounds like a deal.’
‘It is, it is,’ he said.
I gave him thirty pence and as we parted he said, ‘hey, all those Jedi? they’re a menace, don’t you think?’

ALL MY TAPES ARE YOURS...

‘The lift not working?’ she said pointing at the paper notice taped to the door.
‘Yeh, it is,’ I said walking round her to reach the call button I pressed just as the lift left Ground, ‘oh, no...’
...turning to her I said, ‘it’s closed from tomorrow morning.’
‘Seven o’clock?’ she said. ‘What time?’
‘Nine,’ I said pointing at the figure nine, ‘they’re going to start the work.’
‘How long will they take?’
‘Six months, that’s how long the other one took, the one at the back.’
‘That’s a long time,’ she said.
‘Yes it is,’ I said. ‘The other one’ll be working but you’ll have to walk up the hill to get it.’

IT CHANGED THE WORLD

shouting from someone crossing from Corn Street to the Centre - there he is, grey short hair, dark blue corduroy collared shirt, blue jeans, dirty white trainers - is he with that couple? no, the gap between them grows and they look at him as he drifts right - he shouts, ‘rock and roll,’ lifts both arms like he’s scored a goal though it sounds to me like he’s missed the boat

ICE CREAM FOR SEAGULLS

In Broadmead today late afternoon while drinking coffee at a table outside and having a sporadic conversation with an ex work colleague’s been sacked for innappropriate behaviour, I saw two seagulls had ice-cream cones.
The first swooped down took with its beak from between the pigeons were pecking at it the middle section of a cone and flew up onto the top of a telephone box nearby.
The second flew into my view from the left carrying in its beak all but the top of what looked like a similar style cone to the one the first took, flapped its wings then glided up on to the top of the green trailer, WATCH STRAPS & BATTERIES FITTED FREE.


WHILE I WAS WRITING...

...there’s an argument between a man and a woman, looks like a couple, he’s shouting and pointing once and again at Foot Locker...
...she listens then shouts at him...
...now they’re shouting at each other...
‘...what did I do?’ he says, ‘...why...why...’ arms outstretched, drops hands...
- I can’t hear anything she says -
...she moves closer to him, looking up at him, he’s taller...
‘...what you stressing for?’ he says, ‘...ask the guy...’
...their voices are quieter...
...he says something to a man walks past wears a shirt similar to him...
‘...no, no, no,’ he says, she moves away, ‘...what’s going on?’
...he’s getting more animated, a few dance steps, she walks off, walks past where I'm sitting...
...he joins a group of men wearing similar shirts to him...
‘...it’s her, man,' he says to me them, 'fucking what she’s fucking saying, man...’

THE FIRST TIME

‘It’s not working mate,’ he said I turned to see them come through the door from the stairs behind me as i stood waiting for the new lift to arrive.
‘Yes it is,’ I said.
‘Since when’s it been working? said the woman.
‘Yesterday’s the first time I used it,’ I said.
They followed me into the lift arrived and the man pressing the low buttons said, ‘this one doesn’t go to the bottom, does it?’
‘No,’ I said, ‘you need the other one for that.’
‘Oh, okay.’
They walked out.
Just before she went into the corridor behind the man and as the lift door was closing between us the woman turned to me and said, ‘bye then, have a nice day.’

NEW LIFT IN SERVICE

The new lift installed at the back/top of the block is now in service.
‘Doors opening,’ it said and was true to its word.
It has dimpled steel for the external frame and interior, is longer inside than the old lift, has a grey/blue floor, three handrails waist height one at the back and each of the two sides, no coffin hole and a security camera.
The buttons are on the right side when I face the door. The sixth floor button is raised and has a green plastic washer making it stand out from the others seeing it’ll be the most wanted.
It’s clean and shiny.
‘Doors closing.’
‘How’s it going in there?’ said man passing from corridor to exit.
‘Seems to be working,’ I said and waved.
‘Going up.’
‘Doors opening.’
‘Doors closing,’ behind me on my floor.

ONE OF THOSE DAYS

One of those days it is...
...wake up, can’t remember or think of a reason why, listen to the radio, get up, do a few things keep me in the world, think of her and them and how far away we are from each other, two bottles of red wine later when I’m home...

MIND MY LOAF

Went down out top to get the loaf I’d left in the car but it wasn’t there.
Just after I stood thinking, ‘bollocks, coming all this way and it isn’t here,’ I remembered taking it out the back earlier, wrapping the plastic bag it was in underneath, putting it on the roof of the car while I fiddled with earphones, watched the three people walk on the road toward me reach the pub, go in, envy them having a drink with friends, before I must’ve not took the bread with me.
First I was pissed off it’d gone, looking forward to a peanut butter sandwich, thought, ‘nothing lasts long here if it’s not tied down,’ then hoped whoever’d taken it needed it, enjoyed it, or whatever.
I’d bought her a loaf when I bought mine, phoning from the shop and asking, ‘is there anything you want while I’m here?’
‘Some nice bread if there is some,’ she said.
Later when we got back to her place from the garden centre she made me a tuna salad sandwich.

THE POWER OF TELEVISION

The man lives in Bath said, ‘there’s no reason for me to go to Bristol.’
‘I wouldn’t come here if I didn’t have to,’ I said.
‘Everytime I put the television on,’ he said, ‘there’s another shooting or mugging or some act of violence or robbery going on.’
‘Don’t turn your television on then,’ I said, ‘you’d be doing us all a favour.’